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voldemortcanyounot:

thebabbagepatch:

fearofpop:

A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.

you’ve got to be kidding me

I am in physical pain

pardonmewhileipanic:

clientsfromhell:

Me: “What browser are you on?”

Client: “Google.”

Me: “Google Chrome?”

Client: “No, just regular Google.”

Me: “That’s the site. I want to know the browser.”

Client: “Google.”

Me: “No.”

Client: “Look, we can have this conversation forever, man. But when I hit the internet logo, Google comes up!”

Me: “Okay…What does that “internet logo” look like?

Client: “…A fiery fox, I guess. But that’s irrelevant.”

mahbuddymycroft:

fivetail:

dopernose:

Back in prehistoric times it was just a free for all. God was putting antlers on everything and made 7 foot tall gophers with wings, it was a mess.

image

Look at this poor, impractical bastard. 

The prehistoric era was God’s Deviantart stage.

Now he just hides all of his stupid-looking OCs in the ocean where no one can find them.

I can’t not reblog this

typette:

zeedikay:

drcabl3:

jessicreep:

kittydoom:

A Multi-Function Clip That Hides a Toolbox In Your Hair

Um yes!

I still want to bulk buy these and adonize  batch pink.

And it would still get stuck in my hair…

now THIS is what I’m fucking talking about

EDIT: IT FUNCTIONS AS A FUCKING ORANGE PEELER, AND EVEN A LAMP IF YOU HAVE A STRING AND SOME OIL. SERIOUSLY???

JUST IN CASE YOU APPARENTLY NEED AN EMERGENCY ONE FOR RELIGIOUS SERVICES?

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